It's been quite awhile since my last blog post, and I am slowly but surely trying to get back into blogging. I know my overall blog needs some updating, and I plan to do that, time permitting. However, today marks five years since my re-birth day, and I thought it fitting to make a short post regarding the journey I have been on.
It's hard to believe that my accident happened only five years ago. I feel like it has been a decade if not longer. I've had to learn to walk again, brush my teeth again, write again, and so much more. I've become humbled by the fact that there were many things I simply couldn't do anymore—many things that I have to rely on other people to do for me. This whole concept was very new to me, having served five years in the military, and it was a difficult adjustment at first. I became like a child, which at the age of 25 wasn't easy. It's by God's grace and grace alone that I have made it this far.
After ten surgeries and increased pain, I often find myself questioning whether or not it is God's will to heal me. I become frustrated with the pain, my limited mobility, and the endless questions that I get asked. But thankfully I come to my senses and realize that I have read the Book, and it is very much His will to heal me. I have to dispel the lie of the enemy—the lie of the world—and believe in the promises of my God. He speaks truths to me that no one else can. He teaches me to rely on Him, rather than my own strength, because He knows that on my own I would fail miserably. And He's right—I have many times. May 29, 2009 marked a new beginning in my life; it was a beginning where I had to allow my Papa to carry me for quite some time before I was able to begin baby steps with Him by my side.
Five years later I am still leaning on Him for support, and trusting that He will not let me down. He gave me the strength needed to graduate May 10th, walked me down the isle one year ago May 17th, and took me through deliverance two years ago today. It's proof that April showers do indeed bring May flowers. And while often times it seems like a year of thunderstorms rather than April showers, I can rest in knowing that I am loved by the God of the universe, and that every now and then I will get a glimpse of the larger harvest I will one day reap. It may not be during my time on this earth, but that is the beauty of eternity; life is a grain of sand on the shoreline of eternity.